Alexandru Vlașin is participating in the International Literary Creation Competition, 7th Edition, from Oradea, Romania and is 24 years old. We thank her for her participation and wish her success.

Dressmaker

Bizarre illustration on my coffee table,
I want to give shape to a faceless lover
I never know who might be because love is shapeless; 
So much less than them and so much more than me. 
I exist here, nobody remembers me tonight 
I love you, I promise, but let me pass I can’t stay. 

I loved your soul so much, 
Golden weaving silk under the moon for you; 
I am the dressmaker, I must make myself some love to deposit; 
I am so poor, in the good old place of my heart, 
Now are dust and bones abandoned so long ago, 
I could not carry sweet emotions anymore. 

I am so quiet; I am exhausted, so my voice is sleeping, 
But I am not right now, writing some words for you, 
So you might want to know me better. 
I don’t know who I am, so don’t ask the body; 
He is clueless, but the paper helps a bit more. 
My mind is rotting away, slowly, but certain. 

So, my dear, you want me to help you?
I am so useless, I can’t create love anymore; 
Maybe they will call me when they need me. 
Be honest, I am ugly and stinky and I can’t concentrate, 
But I might create something worth my redemption, 
Or I will rot in my old clothes… 

I want a good place for myself to live in,
I want to be quiet and boring, 
I don’t want to be the clown in this circus, 
I want to be the soul of a nation, making the most beautiful gowns, 
For my little ballroom where the harp sings 
And my soul writes the eternity with blood on my tombstone 

Please hold my face if I will die, and look at me. 
I am going to hug you from behind and cry for one more touch. 
I am a remarkable dressmaker, but nobody knows me. 
But you will remember I was creating the waltz of words, 
Beautiful materials for rare creations full of my colours; 
I imagine my garden painted in green and yellow.  

I know who you are and you know me. 
Pick me up and clean me with soft lukewarm water; 
I am a band aid for heartache, but I love you, I promise. 
Choose me again and you’ll be forever away from home. 
I am a traveller without my horse and guided by stars, 
I feel the pain again in weaker body parts; 
Please forgive me for being neglectful towards myself. 
I wrote you so much you might imagine I am just talking to you. 

I am a dressmaker, cut the cotton down and make now something for summer,
Even as I prepare myself for the sweet old friend autumn. 
I want to go now to sleep for a year, or maybe ten. 
I met a lot of people, but they forgot me; I please beg to not lose our memories, take care of me in your heart;
I am waiting for your return, dear; ‘till then, I will keep stars some companies; please don’t get mad, I love you, I promise.   


Ashtrays

Call me something, I want to hear the voice. 
I am here with me; I can’t breathe now.
Killer instinct with a blade waiting for me. 
Took out this fear, stupid anxiety 
Let the smoke out of the ashtrays; 
I am here with me, please take me. 

I can’t hear the music because I cry again. 
It feels so wrong to love without a heart, 
But I carry so much sentimental value. 
Ask everybody, but nobody listens. 
I sleep in the day, so I’m scheming in the night;
They are not here, nothing unusual. 

So, I’m here with me, so bad idea. 
I want to cut, to rip, to bite, to harm, 
But I am too fragile; so stupid boy, 
I want to help this body, but I can’t. 
My fault was when I let the art talk 
Like it was a part of me, but it was not. 

It scares me, the idea of them leaving my flesh behind,
And my heart, so full of ash, like the cigarettes I just burnt. 
I might be the last call on this line, changing my hair. 
I want to today, but I will feel pretty tomorrow. 
Today, I just want to destroy myself; 
Smoke, drink, no sleep, coffee, no water.  

I must clean my cave, or let the flames eat it. 
Saint in body and mind, bestow upon me the knife. 
I never loved this pavement; it reminds me of bad ideas.
Stupid boy, let everything go away, don’t inhale now;
You still have the ashtray full, so no kiss for you tonight, 
I might feel the remorse in the morning, but I want the body. 

I can’t ignore this calling, so prepare the van; 
Lost and found, but never loved here, in my favourite park.
I write you a long passage of words, but I forgot you can’t read; 
My favourite song to fall in love is now forgotten. 
Let’s ride the dawn and feel the wind like a soft touch; 
A touch that can’t leave bruises on my arms. 

I remember how happy I was maybe a year or two ago.
Who was I before the world told me who I am?
Was I funny, was I a good person, was I something at all?
Call me tonight and confess you never wanted me. 
You wanted me a doctor, but I saved so many hearts; 
For mine, who will be the hero tonight?

Now, I prepare for a long boring adventure. 
I want to escape the circle, maybe I want to burn myself, 
And I will be reborn in the same ashtray where I burnt dreams. 
Accept me now and leave breathless on the sticky floor; 
Spontaneous kind of creation will survive the fire, 
My soul, won’t do; so, I loved everything when every single one of you hated the world I cherished; every moment, every laugh, go look for me in the posters. 
I am a star stupid boy; I am who I was born to be.  


 The colour of my eyes

I am still here. 
After the violent dance,
I was so sure Death brought me to life, 
But it is scared. 
I am home, 
You are here, 
But not for more seasons. 
How cruel to depart without a warning.

The colour of my eyes is yours. 
The colour of life, 
Love unbound by chains, 
Protector for generations. 
Almost one century, 
Witness of wars, hunger and hatred, 
Here blooming once more in peace 
Never tired of love. 

What I’ll do when I am home, 
And I can’t see you, 
The little hens will wait for you, 
Confused where their mother is, 
Where mine is. 
Will you hold my hand?
When nobody will?
And hug me tightly?

What I’ll do with all my love for you?
Use the pen and write the eulogy. 
A pedestal for a soul, 
The one who believed 
And wanted me happy. 
Not full of gold with a rusty heart, 
Not a fool of the material world. 
I am art in pure planisphere.

When you’ll find the bench,
Wait for me, leave me some clues 
So, I’ll find you in every moment, 
In every tree, animal, water, landscape;
In my eyes, you are colour,
Crude and real. 
When the music dies, 
I will look for you in life.

Be my shadow and rise in light,
I can’t live without a sign; 
Shine and bestow upon me your shimmer, 
Turn back the clock, 
At least 15 years ago. 
I want to hug you more 
And teach how to be gentle 
More and more. 

The colour of my eyes 
Is brighter than ever. 
You are my friend, my first love 
So, I will fight for us 
Against the evil roots of this family; 
My beloved, I’m keeping you 
In my dearest prayers 
And forever in my soul. 
Even in spirit, I know you are here with me 
I just can’t see you.